Have you ever sat alone in a room where it’s almost as if you can hear your own thoughts? Most people would refer to a moment like this as a moment of boredom, but I look at this as an opportunity for growth, and self-development. Sometimes we need to sit back and enjoy the silence, and take time to re-evaluate ourselves. Ask yourself this question, how often are you completely honest with yourself about the type of person that you are? I can’t speak for the rest of the world, but I can openly admit that I am not perfect; I have flaws, and many imperfections. Accepting this is the first step to growth.

The biggest issue I have personally stumbled upon which for a long time prevented me from moving from one point in my life to another was pride. Even today there are moments where I am still unable to fully push it aside in order to make a bad situation better. I also notice this with a lot of people in my life. I have encountered people and situations where specific individuals know that their action(s) was the catalyst of negative outcome, but they absolutely refused to apologize for whatever it is that was said or done. You can’t expect for others to come forth and apologize for their wrongs while you refuse to take responsibility for your actions. Being stubborn will simply lead to a life of bitterness and anger. If you want to always be right, that means everyone else around you will always have to be wrong. The world isn’t here to please just one person.

Personal growth should always come first before developing outside relationships. How can any type of relationship be successful if you are unable to compromise? It is far too common for people to believe that they are never wrong, or that their way of doing things is the only way. For example, if a mother of two adopts a third child  it is now her responsibility to raise and care for this child as if it was her own. Treating the child differently from her other two children would be wrong. She made a commitment the moment she signed the adoption papers. This is exactly the same as a couple getting into a relationship. The moment you begin to commit yourself to someone else it is your responsibility to be the best individual that you can be for that person, and if this means letting go of sour selfish ways then so be it, right? In some cases there are people who try to balance both. Trying to stick with old habits while trying to become a better person won’t help much at all.

This does not only apply to intimate relationships, but to friendships as well. Too often there will be people who call themselves your friends that are too selfish to ever care about your happiness and well-being more than their own. Has there ever been a moment in your life where you used the words “I am happy for you”, while deep in your heart you knew that you were truly jealous of the person, and not happy for them at all? If you have, there is no need to worry, you are only human. Accepting these flaws, as I mentioned is the first step. So the next time you are sitting somewhere alone, enjoy the peace and quiet, ask yourself a few questions and answer them honestly. Make a list of things if you have to, maybe focus on the positives and the negatives. We can’t  expect to make the world a better place, if we are unwilling to better ourselves.

Image Citation: We’re Growing!. (2014, January 1). Retrieved April 24, 2014, from


The Beauty Within

After conducting a small survey on the subject of beauty I was able to gather responses from many different types of people. Each response, I must say was interesting in its own way. Before I present to you what my definition is, I think it would help if I let everyone know a bit more information about myself and what I use to think about the subject in comparison to the present.

Although I am older and a lot wiser now, I must say that years ago my definition of beauty wasn’t exactly my own. In saying this I am referring to the definitions of beauty that was placed on me by society at a very young age. The media’s definition of beauty is the only thing I had to go by. Being slim, having long hair, even showing a little skin, is what I saw as making an individual beautiful. At a point in time I must say I believed this. The type of women that I found most attractive was the ones who showed the most skin, the ones with the nice ass, the cleavage, and especially the ones. I simply went by what I was taught.

As I got older I was able to get a better understanding that what society and the media said was not only unfair to those that did not possess these specific qualities but that also it was ridiculous. Beauty should not be determined by physical attributes alone but all of the other qualities that make us who we are. Beauty is defined differently in every different culture, and in many regions around the world, but I am sure that we can agree that is every single imperfection, the differences, the similarities, is what truly defines our beauty. Although I cannot speak for the rest of the world, If I was to continue with the mindset I once had I would have become enveloped by this destructive way of thinking which in no way would have helped anyone around me. Think about it this way, if I believed that only women that wore a size 6 fit the category of beautiful, how would a friend of mine who wore a size 16 feel? Would she even want to be my friend? By thinking this way I was affecting the people around me in ways that I more than likely didn’t realize.

Here are a few quotations from a few people who responded to my previous post via Facebook:
“Sounds sort of cliché, but “beauty is in the eye of the beholder.” As stated above the definition of beauty differs from person to person… so for me, aside from the conventional meaning of beauty where someone’s physical features are to please you aesthetically, I think beauty is when you’re able to arouse my mind. It’s when you have the ability for me to dismiss your features and see your character, and still like you. Uh huh… yea that’s beauty right there!!”

“To me the word beauty defines someone that is genuinely a good person in and out. Looks, personality and the way that you carry yourself and most importantly how you treat others is what makes a person beautiful to me.”

“Beauty to me is being intellectually and sexually attractive to me from first sight and first interaction.”
By having a set standard of beauty what happens to everyone else that defines beauty differently, do we say that their definition is wrong? The subject of beauty will always lead controversy. But I think the best solution is to learn to come up with our own definitions rather than relying on the definition of others. In this case, the way that I define beauty will more than likely be different from your own, but once again we can agree that defining beauty based on physical attributes a lone is a sign of vanity and the self-absorption. The first step to finding your own definition of beauty is loving and accepting yourself as you are. If you are unable to accept yourself you will never be able to accept and love others for who they are. Yes you will find the curves of your crush to stimulate your mind, or the biceps or your favorite football player, I ask you to look past those things. Look beyond the biceps, the voluptuous thighs, the soft lips, the sweet voice, the broad shoulder, and look deeper, and eventually you will be able to find all of the other things that make an individual and maybe then you might change your definition, maybe not, but it’s worth a try.

Thank you, to everyone that took the time out to comment and give their opinions, it was sincerely appreciated.

What Is Beauty?

Recently I have been thinking about the word “beauty”, and how it is defined. Although I have my own perception of what beauty is, it interests me to find out what exactly the rest of the world thinks. In different cultures, and different places around the world there are different standards of beauty that may be similar or different from my own. During my last semester I wrote a piece titled “Beauty And The Bullshit”. The essay covers my own personal definition of beauty and also touches on the standards that society sets for women as well as for men. I think in order for me to perfect this essay, I need to get a lot more insight from different groups of people. My question for you is, how do you define beauty? What qualities must a male or female possess to be considered beautiful? Do you consider yourself to be beautiful, if so what do you thinks makes you beautiful?

A Full Course Meal With A Side Of Dignity

a full course mealFirstly I would like to say that my subjects often vary and can range from love, sadness, or even anger. I like to change things up with my writing in order to help my readers to truly relate to what is being said. I feel as if I continued writing the same pieces over and over again that I would only be speaking to one audience.  This is a short poem that I personally wrote a while back. The photo above is also a personal picture that was taken last Christmas.  I truly hope to encourage my readers with each and every post and I hope that at least one person benefits from what I have to say.  Any form of feedback is welcomed, may it be good or bad. Hope you all enjoy!

(Title is the same as post title)

She is the greatest thing given to man, his source of happiness; she fulfills his mental, physical, and spiritual desires and needs. In moments of adversity she is able to calm him and gives him peace of mind. Yet she has converted from a woman, something of substance, to being nothing more than visual nourishment. Her voluptuous thighs exposed as fragile pieces of cloth attempt to cloak the remains. Her little black dress causes all those around to glare, to glare at her delicate curves which appear to be nothing short of perfection. Her bosom exposed as she prepares for a night on the town. This causes his heart to beat faster; he is in awe. A tingling sensation rushes through his body; his nerves are left in disarray. The attention from her beautiful brown eyes and her enchanting smile is diverted elsewhere. The sweet scent of her perfume rushes into his nostrils; he is unable to look away. Caught in a trance he can do nothing but get on all fours. What is left for the mind to wonder if all is clear for the eyes to see? She sees him as nothing more than a dog, a dog waiting for his next meal. She demands respect, for a gentleman to approach her, her prince charming, yet her physical appearance contradicts her speech. A modern day jezebel; she exposes the delicate components that makes up who she is. As she passes by in that little black dress she is no longer a woman. She becomes nothing more than large breasts, thighs, and legs. Her name, what she stands for and who she is, it no longer holds value. She demands respect, but is blinded by what society depicts as beauty. Is this her form of expression or simply a cry for attention? A perplexed soul misguided by insecurities. As she vanishes in the distance he returns to his former state, yet he is confused. What did he do wrong? Is this not the form of attention she desired? Her role to mold respectful young men is shattered as she has forgotten what it means to respect herself. She is the daughter of a mother, the sister of a brother. She is an example set for our children. She has become what young boys want to feast upon; the piece of meat young girls wants to become. She was the caretaker, the peacemaker, his lover, yet she is labeled as a tease, a whore. She carries such negativity but her beauty remains, the beauty that she has always possessed. The most beautiful things in this world are what come from within. The things she is able to offer, her love, her mind, her soul. In order to convince him that she is much more than what he sees, she must first learn to tame herself before she is able to once again tame him.